The Young Union Soldier

 Today I had to make one of the hardest decision of my life, past, present, and possibly future. I had to run away from my family, home, and everything I knew to join the Union. To join the great big blue. To where the coat with the double-breasted buttons shiny and new. To fight for the freedom and the rights of others. I want not only to hear about the fight, not only to see the battle, but be along in the struggle as well. I want to load my rifle, powder and ball. I want to aim. I want to hear the canons shout and roar. The popping chatter of the guns. But I don't want to shoot. I don't want to kill or harm anyone. I know I have to, that I have no choice, but I can't. I just can't. To pull the trigger would not only be the death of another man, but also of myself. To know that I've caused bloodshed would make me bleed sorrow for years to come. My heart breaks at the thought of making someone else's stop. I know I must fight to protect my men, my family, me, but I just can't shake notion. The feeling. The pain. Though all of this is for the right reason. For the right cause. For others’ rights. I just can't do it. So shoot me down dear Lord, for if I fail you, but I cannot murder. I cannot harm. I will not murder. I will not harm.