Shhhhhhh…

            It was love, it was romance, and may I emphasize those two words in italics? Yes, in this day and age we are subjected to one anothers' love lives, how ever fiery or fictional it may be. We are the depicted personnel of ones romantic novel or we are the sad readers of the glorified visionary. We are all, tall to short, broad to twig, and worm to socialist, the objectives of the people we turn to when we need a new reality. With out those seductive literary “Gods” we would have…

            Okay, maybe a little dramatic on my part, but isn’t it true? Isn’t it fact that most of the woman population is desperately drawn to these things. These pieces of misunderstood writings. Well I know I am. Yes, guilty as charged in the court of society’s judgment. I happen to enjoy the romantic novel section. I find it very riveting. Okay, maybe not that much, but it is a decent selection of books and besides its not just the literary, it’s also the media.

            Oh no, you’re not backing out of this one. You know you do, so just admit it. You follow love stories on the news and in movies and sitcoms. You know you do, Grey’s Anatomy, The Bachelor, The Notebook, they draw you in like magnet until you can’t live with out it. Yes, romantic media is now our own “dirty little secret…”

Shhhhhhh…

My High-Five System

             I was recently diagnosed with panic disorder. This means that at times I can’t control how I react to stress and presser sometimes. This means that I shake to the point that it’s harder to write and sometimes I collapse from my knees going weak. I feel anxious and I don’t know what to do. I get nervous and think that I can’t do something anymore or I won’t get it done in time. I get chest pains and it can be hard to breathe. My heart races and I get light headed. I am a teal ribbon.

            I know that things are hard. I know that life can throw you some crummy curve balls that can seem to send your life into a tailspin. I know this for a fact, but I also know that finding the little things that can make you smile in these hard times can make things so much better. I know that it can be difficult to find those things, but spending just a little time looking for those things can just as easily get your mind off of your bad situation. Even when you can’t find anything there is one thing you can do…

SMILE

            Yes, smiling can help improve your mood. Studies show that if you smile for sixty seconds, only a minute out of the 1,440 minutes you have in a day, can significantly enhance your mood. Making you happier. So I have developed a simple way to spread the smiles. I call it my High-Five System.

            My High-Five System is based off of three things. One, smiling for one minute can improve your mood. Two, smiles are contagious. Three, we can count to five. This only takes five minutes out of your whole day and they don’t have to be consecutive, meaning that you can do a minute or two here, a minute or two there, and so forth but you must do at least a minute or else the system is pointless. This is how it works; you start out by smiling on your own for one minute at least. You can do this by thinking about something that makes you happy, doing something that makes you happy, or anything along those lines just as long as it makes you happy and you are smiling for at least a minute. Then you smile at someone else and make him or her happy for at least a minute. Then another and another until you have made four people smile, not including your self. So now that you have completed this you have made a “high-five” by making yourself happy and four other people. Now go out and do it

Happy Two Years!!!!!

   I can't believe it's been two years since I started this blog and I just want to say thank you everyone for reading this blog and supporting me and my writing.

Thank you soooo much,

Riley M.

Running Man

   I stand there hunched over with my hands resting above my knees. I’m out of breath and almost out of road. I had come to find that in my retreat I had lost my right shoe and was left with only a sock revealing a hole exposing my large toe. Sweat rolled off the top of my newly shaved head like rain, slipping down to my eyebrows and gliding off of them as though they were gutters. Then finally falling off the face of the house and puddling on the ground. The seen in which I had just come from was one that no man should ever see. The feeling that gnawed at me in side was one that no man should ever feel. It was more than fear, more than terror, more than an other gut wrenching feeling combined. It was gruesome and warped. The memory will always be imbedded and gnarled in my mind. Faces blurred into infinity, so important yet to some, so meaning less. I can still hear the screams. The story would be front-page come morning, as I heard the police rushing by as I frantically ran. I was a witness. The warnings seem so obvious to me now as I recall it all, though at the time I saw none. The fate was inevitable, but could it have been postponed? In the light of all that had happened the sun still shone brightly as the day slowly faded away. Its raise beating down upon my swollen face, the humidity in the air weighed heavily on me, breathing was like trying to swim in a pool of tar. My lungs burned and my heart felt as though it were about to give out. A gash resided on the left side of my face, though no blood left from it. “What in the world is left for me to do? Surly there was something, but what?”

Street Light

One little street light
Tucked in the pocket of the city
Glowing with its orange haze
The sun not even set
Its heart content
Under the sherbet sky

Tattoo Love

Love at first sight
Love art first light
Love light a rose
So delicate and sweet

Amour à la première vue
Amour à la première lumière
Aimer comme une rose
Si délicat et doux

Love and Every that Comes with it

What is love? Why does it make us feel the way that we do? Why is it that when we are near someone that we truly love we feel both contentment and, in some cases, a burning fire of passion? Why is it that only few seem to meet our standards of love? Why does love feel sooooo good and yet when its gone it hurts like hell? Why is it that we fall in love? Why can't we fly? Why...

Wait I know what you're thinking... "Oh my God what is with this chick and her questions? Oh. My. God. Now I'm asking them." Yes, I know, I can get a little annoying... "Ha! A little annoying! That's an understatement." Okay, Okay, I get it, but please hear me out on this one. "Okay. Fine." Thank you.

What is love? Well by definition it is a strong feeling of affection and even attraction. Though some might say other wise, like it is a feeling of compassion and contentment, or it is the driving force behind the beating of our hearts, the burning passion that enlightens our soul, and the wind beneath our soaring wings as we fall gracefully into the arms of one another. Well love can be all of these, but I think that all of that was just a little bit too poetic for some so I will turn it down and put it in other, more simpler terms. Love is something that we feel when we like someone else very strongly. Sometimes love can be blind, deaf, or even immobile, but that doesn't mean that its not love. Love is something that can be mistaken for other things, but if it's true and real, *slight smile* you'll know.

Why does it make us feel the way that we do? Well we feel this way due to the chemicals in our brains, but I sure as hell I'm not going to go into that. What I do know is that we feel the way we feel because we really and truly love that person. The way that we want to stay enveloped in some one's arms or how we get butterflies when you see your "crush" walk by (I bet you just thought of that person, didn't you?). Yes, we are human and we feel these things even when we really really don't want to. So let those feelings fly.

Why is it that only few seem to meet our standards of love? This all depends on who you are and what your background story is. I can't tell you much other than once you find out what makes you "tick," I guess you can say, you won't really know the answer.

Why does love feel sooooo good and yet when its gone it hurts like hell? This is because we become attached to the person that we love. We tend to become so attached that when we are forced to detach, heck even the mere thought of it, puts us in emotional distress and turmoil. In layman's terms, we become heartbroken. We feel the emotional pain and the physical pain that sometimes comes along with it. We are humans that can't function in the world alone. We can't stand to be lonely. That is why we make friends, date, and are social. It is because we are social creatures and to be isolated is to be put in the deepest darkest regions of hell its self. No self-help book can truly tell you otherwise. Yes, you can be single and not mingle, but are you really alone, even in the lowest part of your life? No, because you have friends and family that is there for you as well. A significant other is just someone who is there for you in all emotional ways. It's okay to be single though because like they say love is a roller coaster, you just have to get on for the ride and hang on.

Why is it that we fall in love? Why can't we fly? I guess in some ways you do both in love. We "fall" for one another and we feel so high on the dopamine in our brain that is causing us to feel so happy when in love that we feel as though we are "flying." So why fall? Well love can be like a roller coaster, like I said before, and with all roller coasters there are ups and downs. Now we feel as though we are "falling" in love because when around your significant other you feel light, happy, and excited, are we not? Well all of that is like when you are going down a big hill on the thrill ride. Your stomach stinks to your feet as your heart races much faster than normal, though these feelings are more so out of fear of falling and the anticipation of that long drop. So how does fear and love relate? Well the fear of loosing your significant other can also have a roll in feeling as though you have fallen in love because that ominous fear of loosing the other person in your life can trigger the same type of feelings though this can also be because you have broken your heart before and you're scared that you will do it again.

"Funny Valentine"

   Oh how the trumpets sound and the sweet melody of the saxophones. The trill of the flute and my foot tapping to the steady beat of the drum. Then his voice plays of the speakers. Its floats in the air and sends a chill up your spine as you sit back and relax. "Good Ol' Franky Boy" mother used to say. He stood up there like a gentleman. All the women in that place swooned over him. It was like Macy's on Black Friday, just without the chaos. He started out fast to arouse the crowd, then slowed down to "Funny Valentine." Oh how I adore that song. I mean, prenez-moi la maison mon amour, oops sorry. I love that song.
   Then with all his cockiness he sings "I've got the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow. Got the string around my finger. What a world, what a life, I'm in love!" Yup that's Franky for ya. 

Dear Few People Who will Read this,

   I have yet another question for you. Yes, I know this is really getting old, but we were made to ask them, so why not.
   Why do we miss people? Why does it seem that even when we tell ourselves not to, we still do? Why is it so hard to let go of things in life? Including people. Why?
   Okay, so that was more than one question, but you get my point. So, I guess now is when most would give the everyday answer of "Well, it's because we care about it, or them." But why? Why do we care so much about something or someone that we can't seem to detach ourselves form it/them? Why? I ask. Why?!
   Okay, a little dramatic and over the top there. My bad, but still... Why? Why can't we live a life without being constantly haunted of caring? Or having that nagging feeling of it?
   Here's why. It's because we have hearts. We have feelings, which in most of us causes us to think of others and how what we say and what we do makes them feel. We have brains which cause us to think of others and the chemicals and hormones don't emotionally let us forget easily. Yes, we are human and we make mistakes, but it's what and who we care about that make us learn from them and change. We change everyday for it and though it may be a nagging, bitching, pain in the ass, (sorry for the language, but I'm still entitled to freedom of speech) but it is what continually makes us who we are. I only hope that you care about the right things and the right people because the wrong things/people can bring you down to very low places.

Thanks for listening,

The Question Freak

The Storm

At the mercy
Of a frightening storm
Under siege
And under prepared
We stand
Side by side
Taking in the blows
No sandbags
Nor shelter
Could protect us from this
It's a beast
A monster
Just a whole other breed
There's no way to control it
No where to run
To hide
So we just face it
With fear in our eyes
As we see it before us
Our own lives

Zzzzzzzzz.... Sleeping

Zzzzzzzzzzzz
The night continues on...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
The sleeping songs begun...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
The is no other like it...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
The snoring...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
The tossing...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
And turning...
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
And the night goes on...

A Nonsensical Ryme

The ground beneath me melts away.
Into the night of loving day.
I feel its warmth in no shade of gray.

It fills me
Revives me
Like a tall glass of tea


There is no other
There is no brother
Not even a mother

I only ask
For one more task
To paint a mask

I like to smile
Like a bright tile
While walking a mile


I know this makes no sense, but sometimes the only thing we need is a little bit of randomness in our life. So be a goof and spread the joy.

The Demon Within Me

I start my lonely journey,
Down this long empty trail.
Just me,
My friend,
And the pitch black road beneath me.
Though I call it a friend,
It is not one to me.
It is a demon,
a parasite,
that feeds off of me.
Off my misery and pain.
I throw down my bottle.
It shatters,
Breaks,
And scatters.
Because of this thing,
This addiction,
This monster that grows inside of me,
I have nothing left.
No home.
No family.
No,
Nothing.
What is it worth?
What is left?
After the bottles and shots.
What is left of me?
A slob with slurred words,
And stammering,
Stomping feet.
I wobble and fall.
Only to wake with a retched "hangover"

Dear Men:

      My friend recently sent me this and it got me thinking. I thought to myself, "Yes this is true, but isn't there more to this than meets the eye. What about the heart?" And I came to this conclusion...

       The right woman will want your time, but she won't want to be greedy and take it all. She will want you to spend your quality time with others too. She will want your smile too, but she will want you to, again, to share it with the world as well. She will want you to be happy even when she isn't around. Of course she will want your honesty, I mean what girl wants a liar of a man, but she will want you to be honest with yourself as well. She will want you to see all the good in you that she sees. Yes, she will want your effort, but she will also want you to put your effort into making your dreams come true. And finally yes, she will want you to put her as a priority, but she will not want you to put her over everything else. She will understand that you have things that at times are more important than her. She will understand and will only love you more for doing the right thing. So all in all, Men, do your homework and find the right one. I'm sure you will.

Smile Movement :)

  A smile is a gift even if some may say a curse. It’s a sign of victory and a proud defeat. More than a grin. It’s a memory. A lifetime. Happiness. It tells a story all on its own. No madder how you look at it, a smile is a present sent from God. Some stories are old and a little broken. Others are new and shiny. Some are yellow and need to be brushed, but most are white. Smiles are shown in doodles and portraits. Smiles are everywhere. Sometimes you just have to look at a frown up-side down. So lets raze the corners of our mouths and smile.

An Up Side Down World

Oh when you see the world

So up side down

Bottles and cans

Tables and tops

Carpets and rugs

Oh other things and what knots

It makes you wonder

If you are looking

At the world

The right side up

My World

I live in a fantasy

Where there is no tragedy

No such thing as a travesty

I live in a world

That is light as a feather

Like spinning tops that twirl

And where there is no bad weather

Not in reality

Not in such brutality

In a world of wonder

And of no blunder

In a world of romance

All of by chance

If a heart were a driving force

I’d let it take its course

Nothing like this

Oh how I would miss

If it were gone

I’d be undone

Revenge

Revenge so sweet

I can taste it on my tough

I thought it had revived me

Of my pain and sorrow

But no

Twas not as satisfying

As a glass of water

Nor as sweet as a cherry pie

So what is revenge

If not flattening the playing field

Tis not extinguishing the flame

But fueling it more

With thy enemy’s rage

Where did the Party Go?

One thing turns to the next

The lights dim down

The colors flash

Neon lights

And

Beer bottles

And way too many drunken people

This is not where in ended

But where it began

Where it went

We will never know

And of we do

We will wish we hadn’t

Blank Canvas

It sits there

Like a giant grizzly bear

Its blank eyes

In such enormous size

Stair strait back

Ready to attack

It mocks me

As plainly as you can see

No muse

Only to lose

No inspiration

Only exasperation

It’s bold

And brave

Barbaric

And bizarre

Yet so very

Blank

Old Red Brick Building

 

My old red brick building,

It stands so tall and proud.

My skyscraper,

My skyline.

My ceiling,

And floor.

My home.

It may not be much,

But it’s mine,

And it always will be,

My old red brick building.

Les Romantiques (Partly in French)

Amour à la première vue.

Love at first sight.

Amour à la première lumière.

Love at first light.

Love at first…

We all want to know

What makes our hearts beat

It’s not just simple science

It is the love and trust

That we feel for one another

We reach

And sometimes achieve

What we all long for

Happily Ever After…

The Young Union Soldier

 Today I had to make one of the hardest decision of my life, past, present, and possibly future. I had to run away from my family, home, and everything I knew to join the Union. To join the great big blue. To where the coat with the double-breasted buttons shiny and new. To fight for the freedom and the rights of others. I want not only to hear about the fight, not only to see the battle, but be along in the struggle as well. I want to load my rifle, powder and ball. I want to aim. I want to hear the canons shout and roar. The popping chatter of the guns. But I don't want to shoot. I don't want to kill or harm anyone. I know I have to, that I have no choice, but I can't. I just can't. To pull the trigger would not only be the death of another man, but also of myself. To know that I've caused bloodshed would make me bleed sorrow for years to come. My heart breaks at the thought of making someone else's stop. I know I must fight to protect my men, my family, me, but I just can't shake notion. The feeling. The pain. Though all of this is for the right reason. For the right cause. For others’ rights. I just can't do it. So shoot me down dear Lord, for if I fail you, but I cannot murder. I cannot harm. I will not murder. I will not harm.

True Love, Young Love

She stands there, waiting for him to arrive. She wonders if he will ever come to find her. She waits for another moment and looks around. Turning over the idea of leaving in her mind over and over. Then he's there, walking up from behind. He finally reaches her and wraps his arms around her. He leans over just enough to whisper in her ear "I love you." She recognizes his voice and the warmth radiating off his strong muscular arms. She repeats the phrase back to him as he twirls her around. They gaze into each other's eyes with such affection that it would melt even the coldest of hearts. Then, for just a mere moment, their lips meet. Chills run up their spines as their knees grow weak. Then they just stand there. Spending borrowed time, as they embrace one another. Surrounded by an overwhelming feeling of passion and joy.

Oh Sparrow with No Sorrow

  The sparrow flew free as the wind. Soaring through the breeze. Gliding upon wings of an angel. With such grace, I wish I could be her. Flying high above the world and looking down from her point of view. She seems so happy. So content with life. Then again, I would be too if I didn’t have a care in the world. If only I could be her. If only, if only.

Second Date!!!

Today I had the most amazing day! I went to Kings Island and afterwards to the Reds game (sadly they lost to the Dodgers). But the best thing about today was that I spent the whole day with one of the most amazing men I know, my man. I love him to death and being with him today made my week. I don't know what I would do with out him. Can't wait to see him again!

-Riley M 💖

Fire

Blue flames jump out

Then lie back down

The orange tongues lick the air

As the fire growls from within

Hissing and cursing in the wind

Spitting its sparks

As it slowly withers and dies

Down to the black and white ashes

That mix to a gray

Then float away in the breeze

Or sink into the ground

Waiting to strike again

Our Own Drum

 

The earth can tremble and shake

It can slit apart

And explode

But what do we do

We conform

We bend

And change

With the sifting tides

We move

We grow

We reach new heights

We had never known

We are beautiful

In an ugly society

We fall and cry

We stand tall and proud

We march

To the beat of our own drum

It thumps is our head

And chest and fills us

With the deepest of passions

To rid the world

Of hate

And fear

March to that drum

Oh we shall

Stomp out the evil

Then solute to the sun

April 18, 1775

  Pardon my step as I walk through your shadows. Of your buildings and posts so grand. Hanging from them, such a magnificent diadem. I bid you good morning as I pass you by in your stony stage to receive no reply. I wish you good fortune as I take in my breath. Though you should heed my warning and hear my cry. As the midnight hour strikes, we shall ride.

Be Who You Are

   Do you ever wonder who you really are? I'm being serious here. Do you really know your self? We go through life hiding behind what we do and what we want. What reality is and what you want it to be, are two very different things. We walk around living in our own little fantasy and we pretend to be something that we are not. We image to live a double-life and that one very sad day we will save the world, or at least the office. We try to paint this image of what we want people to think of us when really it's not us at all. Maybe a few pieces here and there, but nothing really adds up. We want to live the dramatic life like so many stars have in the movies, when in real life we are only the background props. Not even suit to be seen up close. So we pretend. We act it all out in our minds and image that it's all real. But then again what is real. We are. We are what makes the world go round. Us as a whole, not just a few, but all of us. So I ask you again, who are you? Who are you? No I don't want a name, I want who you really are. A word, phrase, quote, anything. Just not a name. A name is just another thing to hide behind. Who are you truly?

Sincerely,

The Music Addict